carrotflower

After almost 8 months I finally reached my first mini-goal of 20 pounds lost.  I am motivated to start work on my second mini goal of 20 more pounds, starting NOW!  I am hoping the pounds come off a bit quicker this time around, because in one month I will be starting operation baby making to hopefully conceive my second child.  Pregnancy and weight loss are not totally condusive, so I am a little anxious.  I will continue to stay away from sugar and keep up with my walks, so I am not too worried.  I want to be healthy.

My mom died of lung cancer in 2002.  Part of me curses her for not quitting smoking decades earlier, which I think could have lengthened her life.  I realize that being as heavy as I am is terribly hypocritical because it is on par with smoking as being quite bad for your health.  I don’t want my kid to ever wonder why I did not do everything I possibly could to increase my lifespan, so I could be here long enough to be able to spoil my grandkids.

I think if losing weight was my job, I would be great at it.  If the weather was better and I could get out more, that would help.  If I had a personal trainor or even a friend that was available to work out with me every other day, I would make faster progress.  The community on this website is very helpful, however, and kept me from giving up, which is the most important thing in this process. 

Slow and steady wins the race.

There are two big reasons why I gained 75 pounds in the last 20 years: My strong urge to lay around on the couch watching TV and my addiction to sugary snacks.  I know I need to both eat better and exercise regularly to lose weight, but I cannot seem to do both at the same time.  I have been working hard to get my eating under control and I am trying like mad to break my sugar addiction.  This is very difficult, but I am proud of my progress.  I am holding strong against the siren song of the chocolate bar, but the groove in the couch need only whisper to me and there my rear will stay for the duration of the weekend.   I am hopeful with the coming of Spring, I will snap out of it and get moving.  I think I need someone to literally come over and kick me hard in the backside.

Everything has kind of stalled this month.  I gave myself a lot of leeway in the beginning of February with my birthday celebration which then bled into over doing it during valentines week.  I ended up feeling very ill and swearing off chocolate and all junk food once again.  I thought I was back on the wagon, but too much idle time this weekend had me reaching for my husband’s stash of chocolate bites until they were all gone.  I also somehow ended up baking a batch of cookies with the idea that I would have 2 and then bring the rest into work today to get them out of my house.  I am not as tempted to snack during the day, it is when I get home and evening rolls around that I have the hardest time.  Well, I forgot the cookies at home & now I am terrified I will eat some tonight after dinner.  I seriously want to get back on the wagon and keep going toward my mini goal.  I know I need to start RIGHT NOW, but I just feel so discouraged.  Part of me just wants to just get through this month and focus on buidling up my strength so I can kick ass in March.

Last month was the “Eat no sugar or foods that act like sugar” challenge.  For the entire month of January, I was essentially sugar free.  This is a great feat for someone like me with a massive sugar dependency.  I recruited my sister, my niece and my aunt and we worked as a support team and also a confessionary when we slipped a time or two.  I started out strong and was solid for 15 whole days and then I took a bad stumble.  We had a cookie platter brought in for a staff meeting and there is just something about a free cookie that I cannot resist.  Since I had one cookie, why not have another since I already blew it?  I took a bad tumble that day, but I was able to pick myself back up and start anew.  I have kept the temptations at bay and successfully crossed the finish line with the end of the month. 

Just eating at the low end of the glycemic index for a month, I have lost 5 pounds.  I intend to try and keep eating mostly this way forever, except for the next two weeks.  It might just be a free for all as it is my birthday week, followed by Valentines week which equals a chocolate extravaganza.  I ordered my own birthday cake from a gourmet bakery and will be digging into it in about 28 hours!

For February, I am going to do a “Get off your ass” challenge and do some kind of phyiscal activity for at least 30 minutes everyday.

As a freezing fog envelops the city, I sip my vitamin drink and finally start my very first weight loss blog.I was a skinny kid, but I did not know it.  I remember wearing a bathing suit when I was ten years old and holding my hands over my stomach as I stood on the diving board.  I was already self conscious of my looks and people staring at what I thought was a protruding belly.  I did not become overweight until I hit puberty and my hormones got all out of whack.  I weighed 160 at 16 years old and I thought that was enormous.  I managed to lose 20 pounds before my senior year of high school and finally felt good about myself.My weight very slowly crept upwards a few pounds a year.  Then at 23 years old, I got married and seemed to gain 50 pounds overnight.  It was an unhappy marriage and divorce a few years later did not help me control my waste line.  It took me 4 years to lose enough weight to feel good about myself again, which led to falling in love with my current husband.  Complacency led to gaining all that weight back and then some landing me at 235. It took over a year to get pregnant with our first child, which I can blame on my size and my age of 36 - 37 years.  I developed gestational diabetes and ended up having a premature birth.  My baby is healthy and now 16 months old.  It is time to start planning for kid #2, so I want to make sure I am as healthy as I can be this time around, especially since I am turning 39 in February.My brother was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in August 2008.  Immediately upon hearing his diagnosis, I decided to get control over my addiction to sugar.  I have since lost 16 pounds.  My brother became an inspiration, as he lost 75 pounds since his diagnosis and is no longer considered a diabetic.I want to change my life, but it is very easy to fall off the wagon into a giant pile of cookies and cake.

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